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Like a lot of fellow neurodivergent folks (ADHD and autism in particular), I have an almost pathological need to be honest and direct. I also take people at face value, and find it frustrating that what people say and what they mean aren't always the same thing. That dance that happens often goes over my head, and often makes a lot of things a lot harder than they need to be. But that need to speak honestly is, in my opinion, one of my greatest strengths. I am the person who says what a lot of other folks are thinking, but are too afraid or to uncomfortable to say aloud. Whether at work or in my local community, I often get a lot of private messages from folks thanking me for saying things they've wanted to, but felt like they couldn't. Often times, this means I'm saying uncomfortable things to people who are often used to just being told what they want to hear. And often times, that honesty is appreciate. At many jobs, I've come to be known as the person you go to if you want an honest opinion and not sugar-coated bullshit. But it can also be a professional liability. Some people don't like being told the emperor isn't wearing any clothes. I am also shockingly unaware of my perceived tone more often than I'd like. What I intend as kind and genuine is sometimes perceived as rude or aggressive. This can happen even when I'm really deliberate about how I word things, which makes it even more frustrating. And as I'm writing this, I suspect the problem might not be my words at all, but the fact that most neurotypical folks simply aren't used to talking directly and honestly. As a result, direct and honest feedback will always feel aggressive. It doesn't follow the dance. It just bulldozes through social convention and gets to the point. Like this? A Go Make Things membership is the best way to support my work and help me create more free content. Cheers, Want to share this with others or read it later? View it in a browser. |
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